


Too Many What Ifs

by starrnobella



Category: Gilmore Girls
Genre: F/M, I Love You, Interrupted Declaration of Love, Past Relationship(s), The Melting Pot Tropes and Fandoms Event 2021
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-21 13:14:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30022323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starrnobella/pseuds/starrnobella
Summary: Those three little words hold a lot of meaning, whether you're the one saying them or the one hearing them. Sometimes the words don't come out just right and you end up hurt. Sometimes they just aren't the words you need to hear and sometimes they are.
Relationships: Dean Forester/Rory Gilmore, Lorelai Gilmore & Rory Gilmore, Rory Gilmore/Jess Mariano, Rory Gilmore/Logan Huntzberger
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7
Collections: 31 Days of Shipping Challenge - Spring 2021, Tropes and Fandoms 2021





	Too Many What Ifs

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This was written for Melting Pot Fanfiction during Tropes & Fandoms. This story filled my trope, Interrupted Declaration of Love. I am also using this story for the 31 Days of Shipping Challenge being hosted by Draco's Den, Hermione's Haven, NaNo Misfits, Melting Pot Fanfiction, Marvelously Magical Fanfiction, Excelsior Fanfiction, and Wizarding Crossover Connection. This is a ship that makes me want to punch them in the face, but in a good way of course.
> 
> Beta work was done by Grammarly. The only thing I own in this little tale is the plot.
> 
> Be sure to let me know what you think!
> 
> Love always,  
> ~starr

"What if I say the wrong thing?" Rory sighed, resting her head against the pillow as she stared at the ceiling. Her mind was racing a mile a minute, and there was nothing she could do to make it stop. Every possible outcome of how telling Logan how she felt was running through her mind.

 _Outcome number one:_ Logan could tell her that he felt the same and embrace her. He could wrap her up in his arms and kiss her, whispering the three little words she was dying to hear, and they could be happy together forever. Together they could live the dream and see the world.

 _Outcome number two_ : Logan avoided the conversation altogether. They'd continue whatever was going on between them, spending nights together, but never really going out on any dates or moving forward with their relationship and taking things to the next level. Maybe she'd be happy; perhaps she'd be miserable. Unless she gave it a shot, she'd never know.

 _Outcome number three_ : Logan could run for the hills and never want to speak to her again. He wasn't a one-woman man; Rory knew that about him. He had made that crystal clear when they first met; even though he had changed since then, there was a small part of her that believed he was still that same party boy who wasn't ready to settle down yet that she met.

"Have you tried talking to him?" Lorelai said, leaning against the doorframe with her arms crossed over her chest.

"How long have you been standing there?" Rory asked, pushing herself up on her elbow to glare at her mother.

"Long enough to hear you start making your pros and cons list about telling Logan how you feel about him," she said, smiling as she pushed away from the door and walked over to the bed. Lorelai moved a pillow and took a seat beside Rory. She leaned back against the headboard and offered Rory a half-smile. "What are you afraid of?"

Rory glanced at Lorelai out of the corner of her eye as she let out a heavy sigh before repositioning herself on the bed to rest her head in her mother's lap. As easy as those three little words should be to say, something in the back of Rory's mind continued to stop her. The track record those words carried in her previous relationships proved that even though she felt ready to say them, the recipient may not have been.

_"Rory."_

_"Yeah?"_

_"I love you."_

_Rory stared at him dumbfounded, unsure of what to say. That feeling was new for her. If there was one thing that Gilmores never lacked in, it was words, or at least that's what her mother always told her. The only people who had ever said to her that they loved her were family. She wasn't sure how she was supposed to respond._

_Dean was staring at her with a concerned look on his face. Rory noticed the pain her silence had caused him written all over his face. Why wasn't she saying anything?_

_"Rory?"_

_"Yeah?"_

_"Did you hear me?"_

_"Uh-huh."_

_"Well, say something."_

Rory could feel the tears welling up in the corners of her eyes as she squeezed the pillow in her arms tight, letting out a soft whimper as a tear rolled down her cheek. She could feel Lorelai's hand stroking her hair.

"What if he just stares at me and doesn't say anything back?" she asked into the silence, taking a deep breath as she nuzzled her head against Lorelai's leg.

"Do you think that's what would have happened?" Lorelai asked, looking down at her daughter's head in her lap. In her heart, she knew precisely how Rory felt. It reminded her of a conversation she and Christopher once had, many, many years ago.

"I did it with Dean," Rory huffed, pushing herself up on her elbow to look at Lorelai. "I stared at him like an idiot after he told me how he felt, and I didn't say it back."

"Not right away," Lorelai replied, shrugging her shoulders as she offered a smile. "But eventually you said it - loudly and maybe not at the best place, but at least you said it. And for a while, you were happy with him. Just like you were happy with Jess."

Rory rolled her eyes and dropped her head back down to Lorelai's lap as a wash of emotions flooded her mind. Jess was one of the people in her past that she tried not to think about, but when she thought about that four-letter word, his face always appeared.

_It was graduation day. She was supposed to be focused on her Valedictorian speech, but her phone wouldn't stop ringing. Every time she answered it, she was met with silence._

_The silence was deafening, especially when she knew who was on the other end of the line. Rolling her eyes, she pulled her phone out of her pocket and lifted it to her ear._

_"Hello?"_

_Silence. Glancing at her mother out of the corner of her eye, Rory sighed and hurried back into the school. She needed to be alone to have this conversation._

_"Jess, is that you? Jess, I'm pretty sure it's you, and I'm pretty sure you've been calling and not saying anything but wanna say something. Hello?"_

_Rory inhaled sharply and fought the urge she felt to roll her eyes in disgust. This needed to end. Quickly._

_"You're not going to talk? Fine, I'll talk. You didn't handle things right at all. You could have talked to me; you could have told me you were having trouble in school and weren't going to graduate. And that your dad had been there, but you didn't. And you end up not taking me to my prom and not coming to my graduation…"_

_She was laying it on thick and being honest, Rory didn't care. Jess needed to know how badly he hurt her. He needed to know that there was no coming back from this one._

_Taking a deep breath, Rory looked up to the sky before speaking once more. "I think I may have loved you, but I just need to let that go."_

_Silence filled the void as she felt her heart being ripped out of her chest._

"What if he takes off for a few months, lets me move on, and then comes barging back into my life and tells me he loves me when my feelings have changed?" Rory asked, rolling onto her back and stared up at the ceiling with her brow furrowed.

"Is that something you think he'd do?" Lorelai asked, stroking the top of Rory's head.

"I don't know," Rory huffed, pinching her eyes shut as she took a few deep breaths.

"Then maybe you should go talk to Logan rather than lying on your bed talking to me," Lorelai insisted, glancing down at Rory as she lifted her knees and forcing Rory to sit up and look at her.

"What if he doesn't say it back?" Rory pleaded, batting her lashes slowly as she took a few deep breaths. "What if I get hurt?"

"Getting hurt is a part of life, kid," Lorelai replied, smiling as she reached out to place a gentle hand on Rory's shoulder. "If you don't talk to him, then you'll never know, and you'll sit here and drive yourself crazy making pros and cons lists about telling him how you feel. You won't know until you talk to him."

Rory hung her head. Lorelai was right. She could sit here and continue to hurt herself by thinking about all of the what-ifs that are stopping her from telling him how she felt, or she could take action. Jumping off the bed, Rory made her way for the door.

"Where are you going?" Lorelai called, crossing her arms over her chest as she fought back the smile she felt pulling at the corners of her lips.

"I'm going to Yale to talk to Logan."

. . . . . . . . .

Rory took a deep breath as she reached up and rapped her knuckles against the door to Logan's apartment. This was a now or never moment, and her heart was racing. It was pounding so hard; she thought it was going to burst through the walls of her chest at any moment. How was she supposed to do this right now? Before she could answer her question, the door swung open.

"Hey Ace," Logan said, flashing a smile as he ushered her inside. "Where have you been? I've missed you."

He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her into his chest. Logan pressed a gentle kiss to her lips as he rested his forehead against hers.

Rory smiled, reaching up to wrap her arms around his neck. "I was visiting Stars Hollow."

"Is everything okay?" Logan asked, raising an eyebrow as he looked deep into her eyes.

Rory nodded her head as she swallowed hard. Her nerves were starting to get the best of her. She couldn't do this. Not now. Nothing was going to prepare her for this moment, but at least for a while, she could soften the blow by not knowing. She could live in this state of unknowing, at least for a bit longer.

"Ace?" Logan said, pulling her attention back to the moment. He smiled as her eyes met his. She was beautiful, and she made him happy, happier than he had ever been. At this moment, there was no one he would rather have in his arms.

Reaching for her hand, Logan pulled her towards the couch and took a seat. He pulled her into his lap and rested his hands on her thighs. Rory looked down at him with a puzzled look on her face.

"Are you okay?" she asked, reaching up to cup his cheek with her hand.

"I'm more than okay, Ace," Logan insisted, leaning back against the couch and pulled her back with him. "A-," he stopped himself, glancing up at her as he took a deep breath. "Rory, I love you."

Rory brushed her thumb against his cheek as she leaned in, pressing her lips to his. Tilting her head to the side, she deepened the kiss as she cradled the back of his head. She smiled into the kiss as she felt his arms wrap tightly around her waist, holding her close to him.

"I love you too, Logan," she whispered as she pulled away from the kiss. Life has a funny way of making sure everything works out sometimes, but Rory definitely wasn't complaining this time.


End file.
